Reasons not to date a Photographer

From the amazingly funny 50 reasons not to date a photographer. I stripped the ones that aren’t right for me, and added some new ones.

  • Be prepared for random moments of losing your hand-holding connection when a great photo opportunity appears.
  • On a romantic date, you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go “mirror lock, tripod, and stop down f/8 at 1/125.”
  • You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws.
  • They like to sit in obscure coffee shop and voyeuristically watch people for great lengths of time.
  • If you’re taking a walk outside and you come across some “interesting light” they will make you sit/stand/pose in public so that they can take a photo.
  • You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations of the same dish with their iPhone.
  • They get angry when your friends go up to them and say “I am interested in photography, can you recommend a good camera for me?  Nothing professional I just want to take pretty pictures.”
  • You’ll wait longer for them to finish analyzing art in a museum than you’ll wait at the dmv
  • Same goes with old used bookstores.
  • Tthey are actually using you to not look so creepy as they people watch everything going on around you.
  • They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than a purse for you.
  • You can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more.
  • They’ll never photoshop something simple for you if the content is not up to their “standards.”
  • That photo they randomly took of you yesterday?  Good luck getting them to send it to you.
  • They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn.)
  • They can’t have a normal conversation with throwing acronyms and random numbers.
  • They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you i.e. models, actors, musicians, successful rich people.
  • They’ll be fussy over the position of a common household object, like a coffee cup.
  • They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still posting pics on Instagram.
  • They like watching old films that you’ve never heard or will ever understand.
  • They like looking at weird things in general.
  • Instead of having penis-envy, they have camera-gear-envy.
  • If there’s a natural disaster in a far away land, they’re already on a plane going over there.
  • They think everyone else’s photos suck.
  • They want to color correct a lot of scenes from Twilight and Jersey Shore.
  • They hate rainbows, especially ones spinning in a circle.
  • They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings filled with health hazards.
  • They always want to show a new photo they took, but don’t really care if you like it or not.
  • They hate your n00bie friend’s new artsy profile picture.
  • Bright, sunny days make them sad, but cloudy, overcast days are apparently great!
  • They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged.
  • Your birthday present will be a portrait that they’ve taken of you.
  • You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything.
  • They will always bug you to be a test subject.
  • Nothing can ever be naturally pretty, everything must be fixed in Photoshop.
  • Bringing their camera means, bringing 50lbs of equipment.
  • If you break any of their things on accident, you’ll owe them thousands of dollars.
  • You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500
  • They are weird and geeky.
  • They have hard drives of photos, but probably have printed 10 images.
  • They are always secretly judging your creativity.
  • If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you.
  • They orgasm every time they learn a new lighting technique.
  • Traveling? Be prepared to pack his clothes in your bag, because his bags will be filled with a camera, lenses, a notebook and an iPad. And a LOT of cables
  • Late nights and early mornings rarely work together. Except for morning light photography.

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